Alright... so I have been trying to study up on things a father needs to know so that I am ready. One of the things I looked up is lullabies because I remember the tunes... but not so much the words. Between the lullabies and the nursery rhymes... I have a few questions about the stuff people sing and read to their kids.
1. Why did anyone ever put a baby in a tree top?
2. Is Bye Baby Bunting a story about child abandonment?
3. If I don't want to fall asleep thinking about itsy bitsy spiders, why would I want that for Joey?
4. Did the 5th little piggy have an incontinence problem?
5. Did Little Jack Horner grow up to be the CEO of Delta?
6. In the Jack and Jill story... why didn't they dig the well at the bottom of the hill?
7. Wouldn't the black sheep's dame have her own wool?
8. Does the Hey diddle diddle rhyme make sense to anyone?
9. My version of Humpty Dumpty involves bacon and toast. (yes I know this isn't a question)
10. Did Jack be nimble spawn a whole generation of extreme athletes?
11. How did Old Mother Hubbard's dog come back from the dead?
12. What did the farmer's wife do with the mouse tails?
I don't remember being scared by these stories, but they all seem to be disturbing material for a baby to hear. I think I am gonna let Elvis sing Joey to sleep instead. That has to be better than stories about playing with fire and carving knives. I welcome comments and advice from experienced parents about what passes for good children's reading material these days. I think I am a bit out of touch.
Until next post...Y'all take care now... ya hear?
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3 comments:
I always thought the whole rock a bye baby in the tree top was a rather twisted idea. I mean who puts a baby in a tree top?
OK, now you're making me feel really guilty about the Mother Goose book you had as a young child! You're right, or course - some of those songs & nursery rhymes are violent & weird & scary! Oh well, I don't think it warped you too badly.
I'll answer those that I can.
If you get enough sleepless nights, you get so delusional you don't really know what you are doing, so I can see how someone might put the baby in a tree. (FYI - there is a version of the song where the baby doesn't fall. I'll have to find the CD and listen to it and let you know the alternative.)
As for itsy bitsy spider, that isn't a lullaby, that is a daytime song and Joey will absolutely love it but you have to do the hand motions.
I think you missed the third wee on the 5th little piggy, he went wee wee wee, not wee wee. I think he was on his way home from Disney, and the wees are indicative of the good time he had.
Hmm, there are lots of Jack's in nursery rhymes.
For Jack and Jill, good question. Wonder if there is any such thing as a lateral well.
If you think Nursery rhymes are supposed to make sense you are missing the point. It is about being silly and spawning creativity in children.
Let me know if you are serious about needing tips for books. If you come over while you are in town, you can look through Austin's books and I can let you know what his favorites are.
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